HeartofDavid79

"He who chooses to avenge wrongs with hatred is assuredly wretched. But he, who strives to conquer hatred with love, fights his battle in joy and confidence; he withstands many as easily as one, and has very little need of fortune's aid. Those whom he vanquishes yield joyfully, not through failure, but through increase in their own power."

Whew, finally a break from the cold and a little color on my skin.  I tell you, when spring finally comes it doesn't hold back.  Something about the air seeps into your brain and wakes up all those slumbering thoughts of happiness that were left over from last summer.  

I was laying on my back earlier today in a patch of knotweed (similar to bamboo only shorter), watching hawks, vultures, and clouds circle overhead, wondering where all this green came from.  Suddenly a bright, orange and black shape darted overhead and dissapeared into a flowering apple tree.  Being the photographer that I am I had to follow, which led me to climb the apple tree, almost drop my camera, scrape my legs, and sit for about an hour while this colorful bird danced just out of reach of my camera.  A few bumblebees dropped by to keep me company, they didn't mind me sticking my camera into their buisness, but they move too fast for the fading light.  

Then the wind started up, catching all the apple blossom scent and carrying it away over the mountain, where it dropped out of sight with the sun.  I heard a sound over my shoulder and there was the little bird (an American redstart), right above my head, peering axiously down at me through the branches.  I didn't have time to lift the camera, he flew away before I could fit his tiny body into the lense, but the image in my mind will last for a while........as long as I keep climbing trees.

Back from the Philippines last night and what a place it was.  The children especially were extremely beautiful and thankfully unafraid of my camera.  Something about the constant greens of the mountains set off by the harrowing grays of the sky during the rainy season puts you back in that place of awe.   I loved it.

Art comes to me in great bursts of energy, which in turn leaves me worn out and unable to sleep at night.  That's the situation I find myself in now, exausted, writing songs as though they would kill me if I didn't get them out, and then sleepless nights of thoughts.....thoughts pouring in over a haze of emotion that hasn't found words to express itself as of yet and so they dance around behind my eyelids looking for avenues into my mind.   

I've been isolated every night this week and I think that's feeding into this maelstrom of creativity. I feel comforted by my creations, by the beauty that I still see in me (very little if at all), if I couldn't create I doubt there'd be room for my depression in this world.  Who would I be if nothing could come out of me and engage you?  I would be truly alone.  

So there, I've said it.....